I woke up with a beautiful morning, birds chirping in pleasantness, the sun shines warmly to tell me that its a new day. Let me dig deep into my reserves and share. I spent the many weeks thinking and mugging over a few thoughts. Here I am again on that thinking-feeling mode, where the heart and mind conflicts nevertheless tells me to persevere.
For those who are familiar with me, Runaway Bride has been the most challenging and exciting experience for me. There is much value in that journey, rich in teaching, expounding in experience and honestly, I have met a great team, new friends and people that are worth sharing life with. My scars and worries seems afew now with them around. Sometimes, I could just smile thinking about it. And what makes me tear is God's love. The more we present Runaway Bride, the stronger the realization that God is in my life, the essence of his is never ending, never fading and it hurts for me to leave Him or vice versa (which I know He won't).
Being an actor had allowed me to invest, invest real emotions into portraying a character of life for a moment. And never once, the portrayal is ever the same, never once can I ride on the previous attempts. Even the physicalities, the projection of voices, the investment of emotion clearly differs one from the other. It may be the same for God too, how much I say I need in my life varies every single second of my life, different emotions are conjured for the never once the same situations. Isn't that a beauty where to know the uncertainties of events but the certainty of God is always present.
God teaches, and He is sure is funny. As I spend time in the word, He never fails to amaze me, never fails to give a slap in the face by telling stories to the people and asking them questions after where those stories were meant to wake them up. I am done living for the world, I am tired of investing my time in secularity. I can't justify the positive results that may potentially arise. Not that I'll head all radical for God now. One person once said, non-christian, "Its not that I have something against Jesus, its their fan club that scares me!". I just smiled in ponder.
What a year of change for me. Physical drop of mass, a change of heart, a humble lesson on braces wearing once again for the mis-steps in my dental journey, a foot in the family business and a foot out wanting to do your own thing, the rotating visits around the dinner table where a father and son talks about life, a young man runs to people for advice but still lingers around the thoughts of 'what should I do?'
Oh well, I wish I knew the answer. I wish you knew and could tell me. Hmm, the birds have stop chirping, guess they gave up telling me too. While the sun still shines warmly, a thought just came into my head. If the birds represents the human shadows in life, it may suggest that everyone would want to say something in your life but stops after a while. The sun represents God, although silent, His consistent warmth shines throughout and which ever step you may take, there is a light guiding you. I am now looking out the window, sparking a new interest and new outlook towards this desire. Sometimes worldly circumstances may cloud the sun, like the clouds closing the sun rays making our world seems dull and dim, but it doesn't represent that God isn't there. So take heart, that every morning, when you are awake, God wakes with you. When you take your first step out the door, He is shining upon you to make the choices in life.
:: Wow, this came out of the blue, thank you Lord for an inspiring thought this morning. Helps me come back to you humbly and in heart filled with desire.
I've been praying for a certain choice in my life, a certain change. I am not sure if I'm getting too far ahead of myself. I would love to share it here on the blog. This has been a long entry, maybe the next one. If I do, pray with me, feed me encouragement or your thoughts. It would help very much.
I'm still learning how to discern the voice of God myself, so I'm not sure I'm the one to advise you on this. What assures me is that if I make my decision without trespassing against the moral boundaries God sets out in His word, I will please Him.
It doesn't mean that decision won't bring with it pain or tears; it could well bring tremendous pain. Even if you spent three months praying over it and seeking God's will, and feeling that you've made the best decision you can . . . it might still result in brokenness and failure.
But that's okay, because even in the shards and remnants, God is still God, and God is good. Our desire to avoid pain is sometimes a symptom of how we want control over a life, even when we cloak it in holy-speak. Sometimes God brings pain in our life to teach us to let go of everything and to place our trust in Him.
Can you continue to trust God if your next project fails completely even though you've dedicated it to God and you feel His peace and blessing?
:) Sorry, maybe I shouldn't bring this up as you're beginning a new chapter. I guess I just want to say that God will never stop being God, and that means He will never stop being good and faithful no matter what happens and no matter what you decide.